Friday, October 16, 2009

270th Face(s)

Patient #1:
A well known mer-princess (name withheld as she is a minor) who, in the act of faux-swimming, suffered a catastrophic form of Armus Outis at the lateral truck. Though the arm was completely severed, the patient kept on smiling.
Patient #2
A stray gray and lavender nameless cat who suffered a most traumatic version of Cranium Twisti-officitus. Another real trooper who, despite it all, continued to smile as well.

Our obligation as care providers was to try and save them, insurance or no. Above the capable operating hand of world class reattachment surgeon, A.M. Jackson along with her "tools of the trade".After a grueling multi-hour surgery, both patients in recovery. Note right arm of princess reattached (and patient still smiling) but heavily bandaged. Cat,patient #2, sits next to patient #1. Questions have been raised about proper care and breathing apparati but assurances were given as to the safety and vitality of Patient #2's recovery.

Reviewer's note: After a seemingly improbably reattachment surgery on the part of both patients, the bandages were removed, and both patients continued to smile. The right arm of the princess, though securely fastened, was left completely immobile, jutting out in a permanent "princess" wave, patient still smiled on. Patient #2 came out worse for wear as the surgery is thought to have caused all of the cat's moving anatomy to fuse together. Patient #2's head was one with its body but now the whole was completely useless. An investigation has been called regarding the surgeon's practices and methods and results are pending.

After note: Word has it that shortly after patient #1 was released from the O.R., her right arm (after so recently being reattached) suffered a case of Princess Waving Wrong-Wayus which caused the appendage to once again become disembodied. Again, an investigation of the operation and aftermath have been called with results pending.

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